Unless you are 75 and REALLY can't (for some medical or near-death reason) wear a belt, then AND ONLY then can you wear suspenders

Image via SaksFifthAvenue.com Converse by
John Varvatos Suspender Pants

The long-time boyfriend, B, has been obsessed with these FOR YEARS.  And when I say years, I mean like 6 years.  As long as I've known him.

These things were huge a couple years ago, and I had thought that the fad had tapered off.  Come to find out, MOST department stores are still carrying them!  Shock! 

This whole thing is only being brought up because last night, yet again I get shown this heinous picture online.  I nearly had a conniption.  I swear to God, I get shown these goddamn pants like, oh, once a month.  MY MIND WILL NEVER CHANGE!  Yes, you can call me a bitch all you want, but generally I never say he can't wear something or shouldn't buy something just because I don't like it.  For fuck's sake, the man wears meggings (men's leggings) under his jeans all winter.  Do I say anything?  No...well, I mean, I just mostly laugh at him when he wears them.  But I digress.

Seriously though, the suspender pants aren't even serving any purpose!  I can understand the point of them if, um MAYBE the suspenders were actually in the correct place.  But this is like dangly jewelry for men's pants!  I definitely have to put my big HATE stamp on this one.  Sorry, hipster fellas.

my neighbors

HATE.


Ok, yes, these boys have never even said 1 word to me.  I try and remain calm around seeing them in the elevator, and one day, I might snap.  Seriously dudes??  You NEED to have an effing dance party Fri/Sat/Sun?  And ONLY listen to Top 40 and House music?  Mix it up a little, for my sanity!

ps.  ALL of your neighbors here on the fourth floor MIGHT like you a little bit better if you would hand us free booze for all of your friends' loudness and rudeness.  Just a thought.